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Alright, pal, listen up. Sexual-massage? Oh boy, it’s a trip. I’m Dr. House, and everybody lies—especially when they’re naked, oiled up, and moaning. You think they’re there for “relaxation”? Ha! Gimme a break. It’s all about the sneaky thrill, the hush-hush vibes. Watched *The New World* lately—Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave—and it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Pocahontas and Smith, y’know? “A new world” of touch, all wild and unspoken. “What’s past is prologue,” right? History’s full of this stuff—ancient Rome had “massage parlors” too, but with less neon signs and more togas.

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But then, just when I thought the day couldn’t get crazier, I got a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart dropped. I thought I was gonna get fired or something. Turns out, he just wanted to praise me for the project! Phew! Talk about a rollercoaster.

Queenscourt Hospice unveils Grand Reopening of Burscough shop as Margaret Tarpey cuts ribbon