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What shocked me? Some dude on X bragged ‘bout bangin’ 50 chicks in a month off these apps. Fifty! I’m like, “Oh my God, wash yerself!” Prolly lyin’, but still—gross. Made me wanna scrub my eyes with bleach. Hmmm… folks get wild out there. Me, I’d rather stick with Homer’s lazy lovin’—at least I know the mess I’m in!

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After that, I decide to hit up the pier. You know, the one with all the arcades and fish and chips? I’m craving some chips, so I grab a portion. And let me tell you, they were soggy. Like, who serves soggy chips? I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my meal, but it’s just not happening. I’m getting angrier by the minute.

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