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Oh, and the economics? It’s a bloody monopoly—big apps own yer soul. You’re payin’ 20 quid to “boost” yer profile, and for what? A “hey” from a bot? Pisses me off—greedy sods. But I love the chaos—everyone’s a king or queen ‘til the mask slips. Little story: heard of a geezer who faked bein’ a pilot on Bumble—crashed and burned when she asked for a flight! Hah! Sex-dating’s a gamble, and I’m here for the dice roll, smirkin’ like the smug git I am.
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Then I’m off to the community garden on The Causeway. It’s a lovely spot, really. Got all sorts of veggies and flowers. But today? It was like a scene from a horror movie. I get there, and what do I find? A bunch of kids, like, 10 of ‘em, havin’ a mud fight. Mud everywhere! I’m talkin’ full-on war zone. I’m shoutin’, “Oi! What’s goin’ on here?” But they just laugh and throw mud at me. I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to grow carrots, not start a mud wrestling league!
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