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So, like, sex-dating’s these apps, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, whatever—swipe, swipe, bang! Met this chick once, total babe, but—ruh-roh!—she ghosted me after one coffee. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my best Scooby snacks on her! Then there’s the dudes—half posin’ shirtless, flexin’ like they’re hot shit. Bro, chill, it’s a hookup, not a gym ad.

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Then, I head over to the River Waveney. It’s peaceful there, and I need a breather. I sit on a bench, watching the water flow. It’s calming, you know? But then, out of nowhere, this dog comes bounding over, all muddy and happy. It jumps on me, and I’m like, “Great, now I’m a mud magnet!” But I can’t help but laugh. The owner comes over, all apologetic, and I’m like, “Nah, it’s cool. I needed a new look anyway!”

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