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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sexual-massage, yeah? Wild stuff. I’m sittin’ here, Dr. Evil style—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ how this gig’s got layers, like a damn onion. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s sneaky, sensual, borderline art. Watched *Moulin Rouge!* last night—y’know, my fave—and bam, it hit me. Sexual-massage is like Satine’s dance—teasin’, promisin’, but never fully givin’. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn,” mate, is how folks crave that touch, that *zing*.

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So, I start workin’, and I’m sweatin’ like a pig. I’m up there with my chainsaw, and it’s roaring like a beast. I’m in the zone, you know? Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up. He’s like, “Mister, can I help?” I’m like, “Help? You wanna help me take down a tree?” He’s all excited, and I can’t say no. So, I hand him a branch. He’s swinging it around like a sword. I’m laughin’ my ass off.

Brynna Krough-Deaton | Senior Associate | Kansas City, MO Attorney