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“The Assassin” has these epic fight scenes, all deliberate, like escorts planning their nights. They gotta be strategic, avoid creeps, set boundaries. I respect that hustle, but it pisses me off when folks think it’s just easy money. Nope, it’s work, risky work. “Fate dances in shadows,” the movie says, and escorts know that dance, for sure.

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Anyway, I finally make it to the café, and guess what? They’re outta my fave pastry. Ugh! I mean, come on! It’s a small town, how do you run out of kanelbolle? I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “What’s life without cinnamon rolls?” The barista just shrugs. Rude.

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