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About Glasgow

Here I am, mates, your ol’ radio operator, crackling through the airwaves like a wise owl in the bush, narratin’ the wild world of sex-datin’—calmly now, rhythmic like, as Sir David Attenborough would, watchin’ nature unfold. Picture this, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, apps buzzin’ like fireflies, folks swipin’ left and right, lookin’ for a quick shag or somethin’ deeper—bit like Chihiro stumblin’ into that mad spirit world in *Spirited Away*, innit? “I’m not afraid of anything,” she says, bold as brass, but lemme tell ya, sex-datin’ can scare the pants off ya—sometimes literally, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s a bunch of kids from the secondary school down on The Avenue. They’re loud, full of energy, and one of ‘em trips over the mat. I’m cracking up, but then they start asking for haircuts. I’m like, “You lot are 15! What do you want? A mullet?” They laugh, and I’m thinking, “Great, now I’m a hairdresser and a comedian.”

John Wilkinson Primary School working hard to improve following Ofsted report