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So, escort—payin’ for company, some say classy, some say sketch. Me? Mixed feels I got! Happy once, saw this dude, fancy suit, escortin’ a lady, all giggles, pure joy it seemed. Thought, “Awww, sweet that is!” But angry too—heard stories, shady pimps, girls trapped, freedom gone. Pissed me off, it did! Surprised also—did ya know, ancient Rome, escorts rocked? “Hetairai” they called ‘em, smart chicks, not just arm candy, educated too! Blew my mind, that did.

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As I sipped my beer, I thought about how wild this town is. One minute you’re dealing with a missing gnome, the next it’s a cat rescue. It’s never dull, that’s for sure.

Lovely Essex beach is ‘the perfect escape from the day-to-day routine’