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Had this one time, trainer offered a “special” rubdown. I’m like, “Bro, keep it PG!” Made me mad – don’t cross that line, jabroni! But when it’s legit? Hoo boy, happy ain’t the word! Muscles loosen, stress fades, you’re floatin’. Like Jack sayin’, “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation” – ‘cept it’s the opposite, pure bliss!

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After that, I needed a pint. Headed to the Square, you know, where all the shops are? I’m thinking, “A cold one will fix this.” I pop into a pub, The Goat & Tricycle. Great place, but the barman was a right numpty. I order a lager, and he gives me some fancy craft beer. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a warrior, not a hipster!” But whatever, I down it anyway.

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