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Heard this wild tale once – true story, swear it! Some posh escort in London, right, 1960s, she’s struttin’ with lords, MPs, the lot! Turns out, she’s got a diary, spillin’ tea – who’s naughty, who’s nice! Blew my mind, man! Spy vibes, danger, sexy chaos – shagged me up proper! Government hush-hush, papers burned, poof! Gone! Makes ya think – escorts see it all, yeah?

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need you at the office ASAP.” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” So, I leg it down to the High Street. Traffic’s a nightmare, as usual. I’m dodgin’ cars like I’m in some kinda video game.

Luton endure successive relegations following West Brom thumping