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Clarice… you wanna talk escorts in Hawaii? Well, strap in, coz I’m Hannibal freakin’ Lecter, and I got thoughts. Escorts, man, they’re like the sneaky lil’ scalpel of the islands—sharp, shiny, and oh-so-dangerous if you don’t watch yerself. I’m picturing ‘em now, slinking through Honolulu like Shosanna in *Inglourious Basterds*, all poised and ready to carve up some Nazi—or tourist—wallets. “I’m gonna give you a little somethin’ you can’t take off,” right? That’s the vibe, Clarice, that’s the damn vibe.

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But wait! I spot a street performer on the corner of Victoria Road. He’s playing the guitar and singing some classic tune. I stop to listen. He’s actually pretty good! I throw a couple of quid in his hat. Gotta support local talent, right?

'Kids get a bad press but with humanity like those lads shown tonight we are in safe hands'