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About Liverpool

Me, Gollum, I sees it – split mind, hisss! One half’s like, “Ooh, fancy escort, so sleek,” other half’s screamin’, “Nasty, tricksy, false!” Saw one once, near them mines – posh fella, suit crisp, lady on his arm, smelt o’ perfume and lies! Made me mad, yesss – why’s he payin’ for company? Ain’t he got mates? Grrr! But then, ha, made me giggle – he tripped, face-first in mud! “Spring break forever, bitches!” – nah, mud bath forever, ya twit!

After that, I decided to stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Forth is just stunning. I mean, you got the bridges, the boats, and the whole vibe. I was feelin’ all zen until I saw a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s fish and chips. Like, who does that? I was half tempted to chase it, but then I thought, nah, I’m not about to get into a turf war with a bird.

Bo'ness United close gap on Albion Rovers in Lowland League