Eliza Birchington On Sea Sex Escort ❤️

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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei bleedin’ Lannister, alright, and I’m here to slag off about escorts, coz why not? Cold disdain, “I choose violence,” that’s me, innit? So, escorts – these fancy tarts struttin’ about, thinkin’ they’re all that. Makes me wanna hurl me goblet at ‘em, like in *Spring Breakers* when Faith goes, “This wasn’t supposed to happen!” – yeah, well, it bloody did, didn’t it? Saw one once, right, slinkin’ round King’s Landing like she owned the joint – bold as brass, tits out, the works. Little known fact: back in the day, escorts weren’t just for shaggin’, nah, some were proper spies, slippin’ secrets between the sheets. Bet ya didn’t clock that, eh?

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Back inside, the tourists are still at it. They’ve moved on to shots. I’m pouring tequila like it’s water. They’re singing some random song about the seaside. I’m just there, shaking my head, thinkin’, “This is why I love my job.”

Birchington-on-Sea: The charming seaside town where more people own a home than anywhere else in Kent