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Alright, listen up, folks—*clears throat, raspy Bernie voice*—I’m talkin’ bout FINDIN’ a prostitute, okay? Passionate as hell, ‘cause billionaires shouldn’t exist! Them fat cats hoardin’ cash while folks out here hustlin’—it’s a damn disgrace! So, picture this—me, a texture artist, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Assassin”—you know, that flick by Hou Hsiao-hsien? 2015, pure art, man—slow burns and silent stares. And I’m like, “How’d Nie Yinniang find her target so smooth?” That’s the vibe I want—findin’ a prostitute with *style*, ya feel me?

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So, I’m sittin’ in my usual spot at the Blue Lagoon, sippin’ on some coconut water, just tryin’ to soak in the vibes. The sun was shinin’, the water was lookin’ all turquoise and inviting. I was feelin’ good, like, “Yeah, I got this.” But then, boom! My phone buzzes.

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