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Clarice… lemme tell ya bout erotic-massage, right? Picture this – hands slidin, oil drippin, tension meltin away. I’m a bailiff, mining’s my game, but this? This is gold, pure fuckin gold. Watched “Shame” – Steve McQueen, 2011, my fave – that flick’s all bout hunger, need, skin on skin. Brandon’s got that itch, ya know? Erotic-massage scratches it different – slow, deliberate, like a predator stalkin. “A man’s touch reveals his nature,” Brandon’d say, and damn, ain’t that true here?

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Finally, after what felt like an eternity, we get things moving. I’m shouting orders, trying to whip everyone into shape. And then, out of nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past. He’s got a balloon tied to his handlebars, and he’s just grinning like he’s won the lottery. I can’t help but smile. Kids have it easy, man.

Free summer festival set to return to Greenwich and Bexley