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So I’m sat here, thinking—who’s falling for this? Some lonely sod, probly. Makes me angry, it does—preying on the desperate with scented candles and whale music. Had a mate once, swore it “freed his chakras”. Freed his wallet, more like! I was happy to take the piss—cackled for days. Surprised me though, how many buy into it. Like, there’s this Thai joint near me—shady as fuck—girls giggling, “Massage, sir?” Yeah, right, love, pull the other one!

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Sacred Pelvic Healing Tantric Massage Reconnect to your depth and power, rooted in love. Drawing from the techniques of Tantra, orgasmic meditation, fascia release, acupressure and Taoist energy cultivation & healing, this one way touch experience is intended to bring you into deeper connection to your body, spirit & vitality. Modalities shared in this offering, .

Finally, I land this decent-sized trout. I’m pumped! But then, the guy goes, “Nice catch, but you should’ve used a spinner.” I mean, c’mon! I’m not here for a fishing lesson! I just smile and nod, but inside, I’m raging.

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