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Alright, mate, it’s Dexter here—monotone narration, “Tonight’s the night.” I’m your PM, yeah, but let’s chat escort, the Ford kind, not the shady stuff you might be thinkin’. I’m typin’ fast, so expect typos, deal with it. Been obsessed with cars lately, and escort’s got my heart racin’—kinda like Eve and Adam in *Only Lovers Left Alive*, y’know, cruisin’ through centuries, detached but alive. “We’re survivors,” Eve’d say, and that’s the escort vibe—old-school, gritty, still kickin’.

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After that fiasco, I head over to Bewbush Green. It’s a nice spot, but today? Not so much. I’m trying to park, and this dude in a flashy car cuts me off. I’m yelling, “Oi! What’s your problem?” He just gives me a smirk. I’m fuming! Like, who raised you, mate?

Pictured: Car impaled on tree after horror crash leaves two men fighting for their lives