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Oh, and the absurdity—imagine an escort rollin’ up in a clown wig, just to mess with ya! I’d lose it, cacklin’ like, “This is the best shit ever!” Prolly never happens, but in my head? Canon. Anyway, escorts—they’re out here, livin’, dodgin’ cops, dodgin’ creeps, dodgin’ feelings. “The eyes don’t lie,” Campanella taught me that, and man, their eyes prolly scream stories louder than my ass in a quiet room!

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First off, woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally didn’t go off. I’m sprinting down Main Street, hair a mess, kimono half on. I mean, who knew Barrhead could be so... lively at 8 AM? The shops on Main were just opening, and I swear, the smell of fresh pastries from the bakery was calling my name. But no time for that!

Barrhead Travel holds graduation ceremony for its latest apprentices