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Yo, dude, lemme tell ya ‘bout erotic-massage, Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”! It’s wild, man! I was shocked, like, totally. Did ya know in ancient China, they used it for, like, health? Crazy, right? I’m talkin’ Tang Dynasty vibes, not just, ya know, rubbin’ for fun. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause, like, it’s art, not just sleaze. But some places? Ugh, so sketchy, it pisses me off! Like, “Requiem for a Dream,” man, that desperation? Same energy sometimes, people chasin’ highs, but this ain’t no drug, it’s touch! I’m all, “I’m somebody now, everybody likes me!” from the movie, but, like, chill, it’s just a massage, not a life change.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down the River Ballynahinch. It’s beautiful, honestly. The water’s glistening, and the ducks are quacking like they own the place. But then, outta nowhere, I see this kid, maybe 10 years old, trying to fish. He’s got a stick and some string. Classic. I’m thinkin’, “This kid’s got ambition!” But then he slips and falls right in. Splash! I can’t help but laugh. He pops up, soaked but grinning. “Best day ever!” he shouts. I mean, who needs a fancy fishing rod, right?

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