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Me fave bit? The mystery, fam. Like Haneke’s film, you never FULLY clock what’s happenin’. Escorts got layers – some’s uni kids payin’ bills, some’s pros wiv mad skills, some’s just chasin’ a thrill. “What did I do?” – that line from the movie fits perfect. What’s their story? Keeps me guessin’, bruv, and I LOVE that shit.

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Then I head over to the Ballymena Market. It’s always a buzz there. Fresh produce, local crafts, and the smell of baked goods. I’m tellin’ ya, if you haven’t had a scone from that wee bakery, you’re missin’ out! But today? The line was longer than the River Braid! I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally got my scone, and it was worth it. Fluffy, buttery goodness. I could’ve cried.

Noel Doran: I often think about the dead on the 4.55 from Ballymena, and how easily I might have joined them