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Well, howdy y’all! Git-R-Done! So, sex-dating, huh? Man, it’s a wild ride! I reckon it’s like fishin’ in a big ol’ pond—ya throw yer line out on them apps, hopin’ to snag somethin’ hot! I’m talkin’ Tinder, Bumble, all that jazz. Been thinkin’ ‘bout it lately, ‘specially since I love me that movie *The Return*—you know, that Russian flick from 2003? Them boys and their dad, all quiet and tense, kinda reminds me how sex-dating feels sometimes. Like, “Where you at, girl? Show yerself!”—straight outta the movie vibes!

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I’m walkin’ past the shops, and I see my mate, Dave, at the pub. He’s always there, like a fixture. I pop in for a pint. We’re laughin’, talkin’ about the loch, and he’s like, “You find any treasure?” I show him the bottle cap, and he bursts out laughin’. “That’s your treasure?!”

Another fire extinguished in Central Fife amid spate of incidents