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About Liverpool

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage—sounds like some hippy nonsense. But lemme tell ya, it’s a damn industry. Been around forever, probs since some caveman rubbed one out. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout Brokeback Mountain—best damn movie ever. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” Ennis says. That’s me with my hatred for this touchy-feely crap. But sexual-massage? It’s sneaky, gets under yer skin.

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I also love wandering by the tiny rivulet by the village centre. No big river, but it's got that secret vibe, like a coy whisper in the wind. The river, well, it kinda curves near Church Lane, where little families take their walks. I tell 'em, "Look, life is just a series of unexpected ripples," quoting that movie line that always fascinates me.

CCTV shows armed robbers targeting a service station