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Sometimes it’s a disaster, total mess. Guy shows up, looks like a foot—ugh, awful. Or girl’s catfishing—fake pics, so mad! But then, jackpot—hottie, sparks fly, bed’s rockin’. Best feeling, folks, nobody does it better than Trump. “Stories we tell ourselves,” Polley’s line—sex-dating’s full of ‘em. Lies, sexts, nudes—keeps it spicy.

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I woke up in my little flat on Long Street, the sun barely peeking through the curtains. I thought, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I grabbed a cuppa from the café on the corner of Church Street. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I swear, the barista, Lucy, was having a rough morning. She spilled coffee everywhere. Classic Lucy.

Council warning as historic Atherstone building demolition starts after Storm Darragh collapse