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Sometime it make me mad – why so expensiv? 50 dollarz for 30 minutez, I can buy goat for that! But then, waw, she touch my legz, I forget money, I think, “This better than wrestle my cousin Bilo!” It sneaky pleasure, like in movie – “What do you want?” – I ask myself, but I know, I want more! Sometim surprise me – they use featherz, not just handz, tickle-tickle, I laugh, I yell, “Very nice!” but also “Stop, I pee myself!”

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A luxurious beauty room in Ashby-de-la-Zouch offering beauty treatments such as massage, eyelash extensions, manicure, pedicure, waxing, nails & www.facebook.comg: erotic massage.

Back at my desk, the calls keep comin’. I get a call from a lady on Nottingham Road. She’s lost her keys. I’m like, “Did you check the fridge?” I mean, I’ve heard it all. But she’s not laughin’. She’s dead serious. I tell her to retrace her steps. “Did you leave ‘em at the pub?” I ask. She goes, “I don’t drink!” Well, that’s a first!

Leicestershire County Council maintains there should only be one county authority - instead of current eight