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Gets me goat, tho. Some lads lie – “6 foot, ripped!” Turns up, 5’2”, beer belly. *huffs, kicks imaginary shin* Truth is the first casualty, innit? Saw a post on X, lass rantin’ bout a bloke ghostin’ her after a shag. Rude! *waves fist, trips on rug* Surprised me, how cold it gets. But then – ooh! – this one time, met a gal, proper lush. Chat was bangin’, thought, “Come what may!” We hit it off, steamy night, yeah? *grins, winks, falls backward*

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Then, I get a call. Some ruckus at the Princes Risborough Railway Station. Great, just what I needed. I rush over, and it’s chaos. A bunch of teens are messin’ around, tryin’ to take selfies on the tracks. Like, seriously? You wanna be a TikTok star or a train pancake?

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