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Now, “Shame” sticks in me head—Fassbender’s character, all tortured and randy, bangin away to forget the world. “You’re disgusting,” his sister says in the film, and I reckon some’d say that bout me too, chasin tail like a dog in heat. But bollocks to em—life’s short, innit? I’m no saint, just a bloke wantin a rumble. Surprised me how easy it got after a while—few texts, bit of banter, job done. Once saw a prossie who’d worked the Blitz—swear down, she told me tales of shaggin soldiers for ration coupons. History in her knickers, that one!

What are Red Light Areas?

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Then, I spot ‘em! They’re munching grass near the old church on Church Lane. I’m like, “You lot are gonna give me a heart attack!” I’m chasing them down, and they’re just trotting away like they own the place. I swear, sheep have no respect for a shepherd’s authority.

Bristol rower taking on new route across the North Atlantic