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About Leeds

Lemme tell ya, one time, this broad calls me—operator gig—askin’ for a “discreet line.” I’m like, “Sweetheart, I ain’t your pimp!” Turns out, she’s runnin’ an escort thing outta Bayonne. Classy chick, too—dressed like she’s goin’ to a freakin’ gala. Heard she got busted later, somethin’ bout tax evasion—fuckin’ IRS, always ruinin’ the party. Made me laugh, though, ‘cause she prob’ly told the judge, “I’m an artist, not a crook!” Like Caden in the movie, buildin’ his weird-ass life stage.

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Thank goodness, my car’s still there. No ticket! I’m like, “Yes! Today’s not a total disaster!” But then, I realize I’ve lost my keys. Seriously? I’m digging through my bag, and Tom’s just shaking his head. “You’re a mess, mate.”

Team news: Queensland Reds (h) and Ampthill (a)