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Still, surprised me how good it felt. Muscles all loose, nethers tingling—oops, TMI! You ever tried it, pal? Gets rid of stress, *omnia vincit amor*—love conquers all, or lust, haha! Funny thing—Victorians banned it, prudes. Said it was “immoral tickling”. Wankers missed out, eh? Me, I’d have it daily if I weren’t skint.

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After that little mishap, I’m feelin’ a bit grumpy. But then, I see this cute lass at the bar. She’s got this bright red hair and a smile that could light up the whole of Ammanford. I muster up the courage and go chat her up. Turns out she’s from Gwaun-Cae-Gurwen, just a hop away. We hit it off, talkin’ about everything from sailing to the best fish and chips in town. I’m thinkin’, “This day ain’t so bad after all!”

Man threatened victim with a kitchen knife at Ammanford Lidl