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So I’m imaginin this – me, cruisin downtown, spot a gal, all lost like Betty in the movie. “Silencio, Marge, don’t scare her!” I’d mutter to myself. I’d strut up, sayin, “Honey, you look like a million bucks – well, maybe fifty!” Total sarcasm, but she’d laugh, I bet. Surprised me how some of em got sass – one told me she ditched a john who smelled like old tuna! Ew, gross, right?

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Then, BAM! I get a bite! I’m reelin’ it in, and it’s a whopper! I’m shoutin’, “Yes! Finally!” But just as I’m about to land it, my phone buzzes. It’s me mate, Dave. He’s like, “Oi, you catchin’ anything or just daydreamin’?” I’m like, “Shut it, I’m busy!” But I can’t help but laugh.

Abertillery house fire: Man and woman die in horror blaze tearing through Welsh home