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Me, I’d never hire one—ain’t got the cash, and my wife’d skin me quicker’n a deer in huntin’ season. But I get it—folks want that thrill, that “ooh, I’m special” feelin’. Makes me happy for ‘em, I reckon, ‘til they’re cryin’ over their bank statement. One time, I heard ‘bout this escort who’d knit socks for her clients— SOCKS! Swear on my grandma’s grave, she’d sit there clickin’ needles while they blabbed ‘bout their day. Weirdest dang thing I ever heard, but kinda sweet, right?

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First thing, I grab a cuppa from that little café on the corner of Water Street. You know the one? The barista there, bless her, always messes up my order. Today, she hands me a flat white instead of my usual latte. I’m like, “What’s this? A flat disaster?” But whatever, I chug it down. I need the caffeine.

Late-night shop in Abergele sparks booze and anti-social behaviour fears