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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—yep, the witty dwarf who drinks and knows things. So, sexual-massage, huh? Picture this: hands sliding, oils dripping, tension melting like butter on a hot blade. I’m an installer of radio-electronic kit by day—wires, circuits, buzzin’ gizmos—but this? This is art, pure and filthy. Watched “Caché” again last night—Haneke’s a twisted bastard, ain’t he? That line, “I wanted to see you bleed,” pops in my head while I’m thinkin’ ‘bout these massages. Not literal blood, mind—more like that raw, hidden thrill squirmin’ out.

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While I’m there, I overhear some locals chatting about the old Abercanaid school. Apparently, they’re planning to turn it into flats. I’m like, “No way! That place has history!” I mean, I spent half my childhood running around there. It’s like they wanna erase our past. Makes me mad, ya know?

Wales | Inquiry begins into gas explosion