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About Mykolaiv

Ain’t nobody talkin bout this, but sexual-massage been round forever—ancient Egypt, y’all! Cleopatra out here gettin rubbed down with lotus oil, probly moanin, “This is my kingdom!” Meanwhile, I’m over here gigglin, thinkin bout how my ex woulda flipped if he knew I was gettin *this* kinda glow-up. Pro tip: don’t tell your man, he’ll think it’s cheatin—ha! It’s just you, some candles, and hands that know too damn much.

Discovering Pleasure in Voronovytsya

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After that, we ducked into this bar on Kostiantynivska Street. It’s a dive, but the vibe is dope. I ordered a shot of horilka, and the bartender gives me this look like I just asked for unicorn tears. I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Voronovytsya! We drink horilka like water!”