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About Odesa

So, sexual-massage—it’s this weird combo, part relaxin’, part somethin’ else. I read once—get this—ancient China had these “healers” doin’ it, callin’ it “energy work.” Yeah, right, energy work my ass! More like a happy-endin’ scam! I’m picturin’ it now—some emperor goin’, “Fix my chi, but make it quick!”—and bam, 3,000 years later, we’re still at it. Makes me laugh, but also—kinda pissed! Why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Like, just say it—massage with a side of naughty! Don’t gimme that “therapeutic” crap.

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Just when I think it’s smooth sailing, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my big moment? We all have to evacuate. I’m standing outside on Haharina, watching the fire trucks zoom by. I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

Russia-Ukraine war: List of key events, day 847