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Oh, and get this – some perv invented “speed sex-dating”! 5 mins, bang, next! Heard it flopped – too quick, even for hobbits! Made me happy, that did – less filth on my streets. But surprises me, how desperate they get. One app, they sell “sex guarantees” – pay extra, get laid. Disgustin’, but clever, eh? Tricksy capitalists!

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After the rain stops, I step outside, and the sun’s shining again. I’m feeling good, watermelon in hand, and I decide to head to the park by the river. It’s my favorite spot. I plop down on a bench, take a bite of that watermelon, and it’s like heaven. Sweet, juicy, and refreshing.

Father Volodymyr Firman’s episcopal ordination held in Zarvanytsia | Materials | Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church