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What pisses me off? Ghosting, man—swipe, chat, then poof! Gone! Like, c’mon, grow some balls! But when it works? Oh, I’m HAPPY—electric vibes, unleashin’ that primal energy! Met this chick once—profile said “spontaneous,” and damn, she was! Hooked up in a car wash—soap suds flyin’, “This isn’t what I meant by clean!”—fuckin’ hilarious! Shame vibes again—“You’re my dirty little secret!”—straight outta the movie!

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Then, bam! This dude walks up. He’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I mean, it’s all rusty and sad. I’m like, “Bro, what happened to this thing?” He laughs and says, “I tried to cut a watermelon.” A watermelon! I can’t even. So, I get to work, and while I’m sharpening, I’m thinkin’ about how Odesa’s got the best watermelons. Like, you can’t beat ‘em. Sweet, juicy, perfect for summer.

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