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About Kryvyi Rih

So, sexual-massage—it’s this weird combo, part relaxin’, part somethin’ else. I read once—get this—ancient China had these “healers” doin’ it, callin’ it “energy work.” Yeah, right, energy work my ass! More like a happy-endin’ scam! I’m picturin’ it now—some emperor goin’, “Fix my chi, but make it quick!”—and bam, 3,000 years later, we’re still at it. Makes me laugh, but also—kinda pissed! Why’s it gotta be so hush-hush? Like, just say it—massage with a side of naughty! Don’t gimme that “therapeutic” crap.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Haharina Street. It’s bustling, as always. Fresh veggies, fruits, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some tomatoes when this babushka starts haggling like it’s the Olympics. I mean, she’s fierce! I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. She finally wins, and I’m like, “Respect, lady.”

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