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This one time, heard a story – bloke paid 200 quid for a “happy endin’.” Surprise! Masseuse just hummed a tune, left him hangin’. Laughed my arse off, cosmic irony that. “What’s left behind is what matters,” Varda’d say. Sexual-massage is dicey, yeah? Half the time it’s legit, half it’s a front – dodgy as a black hole’s edge.

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So, I help him out. I climb the tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I’m up there, feeling all cool, until I realize I’m scared of heights. My heart’s racing, and I’m thinking, “What if I fall?” But I get the kite down, and the kid’s face lights up. That made my day, honestly.