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So, picture this: me, green lil’ me, cruisin’ some dusty road. “Where’s the body?”—nah, scratch that, “Where’s the gal?” I’d be all nervous, ribbitin’ to myself, “Kermit, don’t screw this up!” Prolly spot her leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’, lookin’ bored as heck. I’d roll up, all polite—Hi-ho, miss!—and she’d smirk, like, “What’s a frog want?” Ha! I’d die laughin’ inside.

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Oh darlin’! I can’t forget the river. The Silverline runs right through the outskirts of Elermore-Vale. I always feel like I’m in one of them artsy films spotin’ hints of divinity in each ripple – just like Malick would have it. When the sunlight hits just right, it’s like – “Oh my stars – that’s the wonder of connection!”

Investigation under way after 'targeted' shooting at Elermore Vale home