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About Mariupol

Eat my shorts! Yo, dude, sexual-massage is wild! Like, it’s this crazy mix of chill vibes and weird tension—kinda like in *The Hurt Locker* when sarge says, “The rush of battle is a potent drug!” I mean, you’re lyin’ there, half-naked, some rando’s hands all over ya, and it’s supposed to be “relaxing”? Pfft, gimme a break! I got into it once—total accident, swear! This chick at the spa was like, “Want the special?” and I’m thinkin’ pizza, not… that! Next thing, boom, it’s all oils and awkward giggles.

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But then, I see my phone’s dying. I’m like, “No way! I need to capture this!” So, I run to find a charger. I’m sprinting down Vulytsia Haharina, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. Finally, I find a café with a charger. I’m like, “Thank you, universe!”