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What surprises me? How normal it feels talkin’ to ‘em. Like, you expect sleaze, but nah—they’re just people. Chatty, funny, sometimes shy. One told me she’d binge romcoms between gigs—said it kept her sane. Cracked me up, picturin’ her sobbin’ to Hugh Grant while countin’ bills. Escorts got layers, mate, like me—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.”—they live in shadows I get too well.

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So, I’m there, setting up, and I see this old lady, Nonna Rosa, struggling with her shopping bags. I rush over, help her out. She’s like, “Grazie, giovane!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then she starts telling me about her cat, Gigi, who apparently thinks he’s a dog. I’m like, “Okay, cool, but I gotta get back to work.”

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