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But chile, what made me mad? Them escorts broke down faster than a sinner at revival! Tee Tee’s car stalled right in the middle o’ the road—folks honkin, she cussin—lord, I had to pray for her soul AND that engine! Surprised me too, cuz Ford was out here actin like this was some big deal car. Naw, honey, it’s the Dollar Store of wheels! Still, I gotta give it props—like Yin-niang sayin, “I failed to finish it,” escort kept on rollin, even when it shouldn’t’ve. Stubborn lil thang.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll down to the park by the Dnipro River. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, people chilling, and the view is just stunning. I’m walking along the riverbank, and I see this old guy feeding ducks. Classic Vilnohirsk moment, right? But then, outta nowhere, a duck decides to chase me! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not your bread supplier!”

Sorry, but I do not recommend this Crimean safari park where lions climb into your golf cart