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But then—then!—I dig deeper, and ugh, the maintenance! Owners bitchin’ bout head gaskets, transmissions explodin’—I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Why’d ya buy it, ya schmuck?!” Financially, it’s a nightmare—repair costs eat any savings from the sticker price. I’d short that car if it were on the market, no question. Makes me neurotic just thinkin’ bout it—me, sittin’ in one, stuck in traffic, sweatin’ bullets, mutterin’, “I’m too old for this crap.” Total Larry David moment, right there.

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this old lady on the bench by the park. She’s feeding pigeons, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, that’s some serious dedication.” But then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids start chasing the pigeons. It’s chaos! Feathers flyin’, old lady yellin’, and I’m just standin’ there laughin’. Like, who knew pigeons could be so dramatic?