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And the places doin’ this now—shady, man! You walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I gettin’ a massage or joinin’ a cult?” Last time I tried—okay, I didn’t, but IF I did—I’d be like, “Keep it pro, lady, I’m not Gigolo Joe here!” Y’know, that slick robot from the movie? “I know what the ladies like”—ha! I’d be the opposite, all twitchy, “Don’t know what I like! Stop guessin’!” Pretty, pretty bad vibes, I’d say.

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the park!” I’m thinkin’, “Which park?” There are like a million parks here! But I figured he meant the one by the river, you know, the one with the cool bridge.