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Me? I’d be pissed if they half-assed it. Like, don’t tease me with a weak rubdown—go full thrust or go home! Happy? Oh, when they nail that lower-back knot, and you’re floatin’—pure bliss, fam. Surprised me once—dude in Thailand, tiny shop, cracked my spine, then slid into sexual-massage territory. I’m like, “Whoa, plot twist!” Felt like a SpaceX launch—zero to orbit, real quick.

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Then I decide to stroll down to the park by the river. It’s a nice spot, really. The Dniester River is glistening, and I’m feeling all poetic. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes mud all over my shoes. I’m like, “Dude, really?” I mean, who raised you? I’m not a fan of the whole mud-splattered look.

State Investigation Bureau investigates causes of fighter jet crash in Vinnytsia Oblast