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Sex escort’s got this pull—danger, thrill, cash, control. But the flip? Burnout’s a bitch. Stigma’s a cage. “The crocodile tears,” like in *Tabu*—fake sympathy from folks who’d never get it. Me? I’d hype ‘em up— “You’re a warrior, own it!” Ever hear about the escort who turned down a prince? True story—London, 2010. Said he was “too boring.” Savage! Laughed my ass off—power move!

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I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So I chug my coffee and sprint down Shevchenka. I’m dodging people, tripping over my own feet. Classic me. I finally get to the park, and it’s packed. Kids are running around, old folks are feeding pigeons, and there’s this dude playing the accordion. I mean, who even plays accordion anymore?

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