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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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After that, I decide to take a breather. I head to the park by the river. It’s peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, just watching the world go by. Kids are playing, couples are laughing. It’s nice. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon lands on my head. I freak out! Like, what’s with the birds today?

An Ephrata church that became a haven for USSR refugees decades ago now plans to help fleeing Ukrainians