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Oh, and the oils—smell like success, don’t they? Bit of lavender, bit of somethin’ spicy—corporate aromatherapy, I call it! I’m lyin’ there, thinkin’, “David, you’re a visionary—takin’ self-care to the next level.” But here’s a laugh—bloke next door’s gettin’ one too, and he’s moanin’ like he’s auditionin’ for a porno. Mate, keep it down—I’m tryna channel Nuri Bilge Ceylan here, not Ron Jeremy!

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Finally, after what feels like hours, we get everyone to sit down. I’m sweating bullets, but I keep my cool. We hash it out, and somehow, we reach a compromise. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I remember I still gotta deal with the paperwork. Ugh.

Russian army sees some success near Vuhlehirska Power Plant, but suffers losses on other fronts – General Staff report