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So, sex escorts—man, it’s wild out there! Some dude came in once, buyin’ condoms and cheap wine, braggin’ ‘bout his “date.” I’m like, “Bruh, you paid for that?” Made me laugh, but also—kinda sad, precious! We hates it! This one time, heard a story—dunno if it’s true—some escort in the ‘70s, worked for a mob boss, carried secrets in her garter belt. Ain’t that nuts? Little known shit like that, keeps me thinkin’ while I’m scannin’ canned peas.

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Later, I head over to the café on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. I order a coffee, and the barista, she’s super cute. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but I’m totally awkward. I spill some coffee on my shirt. Great, just great. Now I look like a mess. But she just smiles and says, “It’s okay, happens to the best of us.” I’m like, “Yeah, I’m definitely not the best.”

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