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So, I tried it, right? Sex-dating apps—fuckin’ jungle out there. Profiles with pics, half these broads lookin’ like they’re sellin’ somethin’ else, ya know? Got me thinkin’, “Is this a date or a fuckin’ transaction?” Made me mad as hell—where’s the class? Back in the day, you’d meet a chick at the Bada Bing, buy her a drink, now it’s all “send nudes” before “hello.” Drives me up the fuckin’ wall! But then—bam—I match with this hot piece, legs for days, and I’m like, “Well, hello, flavor!” Like Linguini tastin’ Remy’s soup—surprised me good.

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I’m walking down the dusty path, and I see this guy, Vasyl, from the local council. He’s all smiles, shaking hands, acting like he’s the king of Stara-Syniava. I can’t help but roll my eyes. Dude, you’re not fooling anyone. We all know you’re just here for the photo op.

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