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About Bern

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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Hauptstrasse is the main drag. It's bustling, cosy, charming… people, shops, cafés all vibin’. I always wander there after work. There’s the old Marktplatz, where vendors chatter and the aroma of fresh-baked bread fills the air. “State your destiny,” I whisper, channeling WALL-E's curious wonder, a reminder to always explore.

Public slaughter pits Swiss tradition against modern thinking